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i hate social media and everyone already has a blog. so, as the ultimate contrarian, i made THE BOG instead.
nobody wanted this.
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bring me home

Goodness - The Hotelier

January 21 2024 (written December 31 2023)

i remember not being huge on this album when i first heard it. i felt it light on “real songs” and i wasn't huge on the production. as i was able to listen more times and more actively, however, i was able to see past that and understand the band's vision. when they want to launch into a grand burst of emotion, they crank up the pop dial and do it — but when they want to make a point, they don't shy away from avant-garde techniques. we hear no guitars until about a minute and a half into the record, when one starts to hammer out an almost unmusically dissonant tone as if to dare you to stop listening, to look away. when the story calls for it, though, everyone joins in with full parts, filling out the space between Christian's voice and Ben's drums for a solo section that serves as a headbanging reminder that this is the same band behind Noplace.

and they don't let you forget it — songs like Piano Player or Soft Animal have all of the same mope and shimmer that Noplace specialized in. however, they take time to introduce a new side to it. Goodness, as you might guess by its title and cover combo, is very much a transcendentalist record. Though it's nothing new for them, Christian fixes their gaze on nature this time in an attempt to connect with it and relate it to everyday life. bolstering this shift in their writing is a sort of optimism that The Hotelier very much lacked in the past. they spend time finding beauty in the mundane, with a tendency to repeat simple musical and lyrical statements for long enough that they risk losing your attention if you don't care enough to stick them out. take for an example the kick-tom-snare pattern that operates as the engine of Goodness, Pt. 2, the pleading call of “sustain” on Piano Player, and the single-chord interlude on Sun.

i once had an english teacher who showed us a long transcendentalist poem. there was no plot, no characters, no meaningful subtext — nothing but a long, flowery description of one specific natural landscape at one specific time. my teacher argued that the author was trying to challenge the reader to stay focused long enough to read all the way through it, that the challenge of reading this poem was akin to the challenge of writing it: sitting in one place and doing the self-guided observation required to read or write four pages about this scene. i think he was full of shit because you can put down the poem and pick it up whenever you want. but you can't put down and pick up Goodness, Pt. 2 or Sun whenever you want (if you're me, at least). a song takes a specific amount of time to play out. without a timecode or a deep intimate knowledge of the recording, you won't find your place when you come back to them as easily as you might in a poem or a more strictly-structured song. while Christian is finding beauty in the mundane of their life and the endurance of nature, the band is begging us to do some self-guided observation of their repeating drum beats, chords, refrains, or whatever else they present.

outside of the “real songs,” the band finds space to stretch with acoustic guitar duets that sound like polaroid candids in the last two coordinate songs, both overlaid with the simple tune of “I See The Moon.” unencumbered by studio interference like tempo-matching or overbearing production, these songs act as collages of human connection — both to each other and to nature.

on Noplace, The Hotelier crushes you with the despair that comes from living in a world you are afraid of. on Goodness, they reassure you that the world is just as afraid of you as you are of it.

Infinity On High - Fall Out Boy

January 19, 2023

uh. happy new year. i saw FOB announced their new album so i wanted to get more familiar with their discography before it comes out. i thought it would be funny if i had listened to them more and it turns out they suck but they were actually pretty good for a while. i also wanted to challenge myself by writing a serious review (even though it's all based on my personal taste, which is objectively shit) on a full big-time record from a household-name band. these are basically my listening notes. shoutout to Google Docs to Clean HTML Converter cuz i was not converting all this by myself.

  1. Thriller - 8/10. pretty good. great as an opener, but the theatricality takes a toll on its ability to stand on its own. i like the little "woo!" and guitar chugs. i can't tell if the intro/outro voice samples are serious or satirical. (note: it was not a sample. they got Jay-Z to record this specifically for them. still hoping against hope it was a joke.)
  2. "The Take Over, the Breaks Over" - 9/10. the guitar tone in this song could be a little better (main riff needs more fuzz, rhythm needs more crunch) but the solo sounds nice. -1 cuz the chorus feels a little manufactured at points. i like the piano though. (note: they got Ryan Ross and Chad Gilbert for these solos?)
  3. This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race - 6/10. has the bones of a good song but i feels like their manager went in after they were happy with their version and added those little piano and synth notes on "god damn" and the low-fidelity drum bit toward the end. really comes off like they needed this to be the lead single. +1 for that last "intricAAAATE!"
  4. I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) - 9/10. i loathe this title with every last unit of energy in my body, but the song is really good. the lyrics are kinda boring but they're not so bad that i can't look past them. the guitars here are very Maroon 5-y, and it fits surprisingly well for a love ballad from a pop punk band.
  5. Hum Hallelujah - 8/10. dropping religious music into your emo song was probably a valid tactic to be edgy in 2007, but it feels a bit hackneyed now. they had to credit Leonard Cohen for this. the lyrics are otherwise quite good. i wish the background guitar parts were toward the front of the mix. the ending is a strong choice, especially going into golden
  6. Golden - 9/10. i was dreading this song based on the intro and its piano-centricity, but there are some interesting harmonic choices, which aren't suuuper rare for FOB or pop punk in general, but uncommon enough to keep interest. the vocal arrangement is actually really good. the piano and organ sound so damn nice. send my compliments to the recording engineer and keyboardist.
  7. Thnks fr th Mmrs - 10/10. i'm biased here cuz i fucking loved this song back in ye olden times (elementary/middle school). i still do. i feel like they could have done more when the guitars/bass drop out for a while -- i could imagine a sparse bass riff toward the end to start re-introducing the instruments, but i wouldn't dare ask Pete to change notes more than once per measure.
  8. Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? - 10/10. new favorite. powerful playing, strong composition, and i just love it. it's got a ragged intensity (reminiscent of the DIY scene, both at the time and in the current day) that i absolutely adore in music. Lovejoy or Ariana Grande could cover this song and they'd probably both do it well.
  9. The (After) Life of the Party - 8/10. i was genuinely floored by this song. usually emo bands get string sections/vsts in order to sound threatening, but FOB sound almost like a lighthearted musical with this song's pizzicato/staccato movements. the drums across the whole song are really fun. lyrics are pretty good. -1 cuz the chorus doesn't keep the verses' momentum too well.
  10. The Carpal Tunnel of Love - 7/10. music is pretty good, lyrics suck. they inexplicably keep letting Pete recite his spoken word poetry. +1 because at least it works stylistically. but i still don't like his lyrics for the scream parts. the finished product doesn't feel as powerful as they thought it would be or at least wanted it to be.
  11. Bang the Doldrums - 10/10. FOB should thank Panic! for letting them publish a Pretty. Odd. b-side. beautiful song. i even like Pete's verse. (i know this came out a year before Pretty. Odd. whatever.) i can't even say anything more.
  12. Fame < Infamy - 9/10. classic FOB song. no more, no less. i wish they had let that major-focused part stay a bit longer – it just feels out of place as it stands. though in the end it feels really powerful and punchy, and a touch MCR-y in the best way (i.e. the Three Cheers way).
  13. You're Crashing, But You're No Wave - 8/10. this is an emocore song with (for FOB standards) less poetic and quite harsh lyrics. it's pleasantly surprising, since FOB usually refuses to comment on anything outside personal relationships or the music industry. he doesn't seem to take a strong specific stance on the state of the judicial system itself but there are some thought-provoking things in there. should have a better title. i do like Patrick letting his calm lower-range vocals shine for a bit. -1 because they should have held off on inviting an entire choir. i don't like the "guilty" cascade and i feel like they just did not need the choral parts. they're all toward the end, though, so i don't care as much as it sounds like i do.
  14. I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers - 10/10. this one also sounds like a musical, just in a different (still good) way. Patrick is showing off his vocals a lot, but he's good enough that it's still musical and functional. i hate that microsoft Bob-sounding-ass "now press repeat" jumpscare. "i may be paranoid but no android"-type fucker.

bonus tracks:

  1. G.I.N.A.S.F.S. - 9/10. oh, NOW they want shorter titles. (later note: i retract the sarcasm in that remark. it stands for Gay Is Not A Synonym for Shitty – this was a sorta risky statement for a mainstream pop punk band in 2007, so they have a little bit more of my respect.) Captain Falcon stole "let me see your moves'' from Patrick Stump. on the literal level the lyrics are fine, i guess, but they work really well with the music just on the basic melodic and rhythmic level. *this* is the sound that pop punk revival industry plants wish they had. another new favorite.
  2. It's Hard to Say "I Do", When I Don't - 8/10. the lyrics suck really bad but are good strictly on the principle that they are really relatable and sometimes funny. -2 for lyrics, +1 for being fun. THAT GODDAMN FAITH-ASS TEXT TO SPEECH.
  3. Dance, Dance - Live From Hammersmith Palais - sucks/10. why did they bother releasing this? dance, dance in the studio is 11/10 but they did not perform it well and it wasn't even recorded well enough to warrant its inclusion. actually, Pete and Hurley play it pretty well, but the left-ear guitarist doesn't know the part, the right-ear guitarist mixes the chords up, and Patrick barely follows his vocal part (i get it's not easy, but he barely tries). it had been two years since Cork Tree and it's not a particularly hard guitar song. i wasn't gonna comment on this one since the original's not even on Infinity, but what the fuck?
  4. [arms race, thriller] - Live From Hammersmith Palais. both 7/10. being played live did some service to arms race but did a disservice to thriller. didn't change either much, but i like arms race without the extra production bullshit and thriller with the extra production bullshit. more proof they wanted Arms Race to be a lead single: Pete screams the call to action here but Patrick politely asks in the studio version.

stand-outs: thriller, golden, mmrs, don't you know, doldrums, fame < infamy, ringing

skippable: arms race, hallelujah, the live recordings

worst title: I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You)

general comments:

i don't know how to conclude these. peace out.



edit 1/24/23: i should've mulled over this a bit more. here's new rankings:

must-hear: golden, th mmrs, don't you know, carpal tunnel, doldrums, fame < infamy, ringing

skippable: the take over, arms race, (after) life, all of the live recordings

i removed Hum Hallelujah from the "skippable" rank. i still think it's a copout to not only toss in Cohen's Hallelujah for fun but to also have no chord movement behind it, but i've been able to appreciate the rest of the song a lot more since those first few listens. (After) Life has lost many points because the novelty wore off. it feels too poppy and it gets annoying on repeats, especially since the chorus is comparatively weak. as for the rest, i probably just like the b-side more because they could go a bit crazier with it, since all the songs they wanted to get big all went on the a-side. also, Pete's verse on Carpal Tunnel is growing on me.

WORRY. again

October 12 2022

i kinda forgot WORRY. existed. i've been listening to a lot of other music and discovering new stuff and i forgot my roots. when i first heard it, i thought it was the greatest album ever. after that, i listened to it on repeat for long enough that all of the emotion and awe kinda faded away and i got tired of it, as i do with all music. the opener, We Begged 2 Explode, felt too slow and powerless, Pietro... seemed unnecessary, and everything on the B-side felt too distinct from song to song to necessitate the connectivity it has. i got more and more bored about the constant clash between romance and anti-capitalism and more annoyed at how often Jeff couldn't stop fawning over his wife while still complaining about his landlord and/or the Establishment. but i hadn't listened to it (all the way through, at least) for a year, maybe more. after finally doing that, i finally got it again.

while We Begged 2 Explode could've been faster, i enjoy the time it takes to build into the rock ballad section with the big group vocals and something something the power of friendship. actually knowing most of the words to Bang on the Door and Planet Luxury balance out the aggressive political commentary with ...While You're Alive and Perfect Sound Whatever is actually a really good closer, no matter how much passion i hate volume fade-outs with. maybe the point of having the whole backside connected even though HELLLLHOOOOLE and June 21st are the only two that actually need to be is a commentary about social media and the disconnect between little bits of text online or maybe they just wanted to record all of them together, i don't really know, but it really makes it way more fun to listen to the entire thing at once. and, on the note of metaphors, while i'm still iffy on how well it was executed, the love/capitalism dichotomy makes a little more sense after digesting it for a while. it's like a whole thing about humans trying to live truly in a world hostile to pure emotion vs. the cold unfeeling grasp of the System, the Machine which ignores ethics and humanity and cares only for numbers. and whatnot.

i don't really know why i wrote this. maybe to fanthey about an album that i like, maybe to spread some joy since i can finally appreciate this album again. since i have a problem with playing music on repeat, it's rare i get to feel a lot of emotion with music i know well. (as i write this, i've been playing TTNG's self-titled on repeat for the last three days. WORRY. has been my only break from it.) but sometimes it's nice to feel things. and as the weather gets colder i'll be doing that a lot more. anyways, uh, i'll tell you don't be like me and please for your own sanity listen to a variety of music every day instead of one album for weeks on end. peace out.

New Cheekface Album

August 6 2022

check out Too Much to Ask. maybe i'm 4 days late. what about it? look at this cover. though their name tag reads "Stubbs," this is exactly what i imagined Snuggles from "Featured Singer" looks like. Mandy's art always slaps and this is no exception. i'm talking here about the songs that weren't singles. if you want coverage for them, google their titles and i'm sure a professional or even a fellow indie jackass like me has written about them. (post-writing editor's note: do not start writing an album review at 11:30 PM.)

"When Life Hands You Problems" is one of my new favorite songs. seeing Cheekface break from their usually chillaxed and detached ironic facade into a relatively poppy power chorus is refreshing and really interesting. it also has my favorite lyrics on the album (and i would list them, but i realized it was just the entire song). my only complaint is that Mandy's "somebody's in here!" is mixed too realistically for comfort.

the next non-single "I Feel So Weird!" takes some risks, with varying rates of success. The first line, "I'm at the Jamba Juice / I'm at the therapist / I'm at the combination Jamba Juice and therapist," is incredibly funny but Greg is either desperately trying not to laugh or cry which makes this line somewhat arhythmic, giving the song a disorienting start. this might be the point, but later on it's more subtle. the chorus starts with Greg screaming "LOOK MOM, I'M TRYING," at the top of his lungs, which hits a little too close, though quickly coming down to just shouting "Why do I feel so weird?". the little synth clang, clap, and melodic line along with Mandy's spoken version of Greg's line and very loud whispered "WEIRD?" all build up a POV of either having a panic attack or some sort of existential breakdown. or just having a bad high, i don't know. finally, this song was given the distinction of having Mandy's nastiest bass line on the album by Cheekface's twitter followers.

the lyrics to "Noodles" have replaced all of my thoughts. the only words occupying the little available space in my brain since August 2nd, 2022 have been "A big cup of noodles (Yeah) / A giant cup of noodles (Yeah)." I really appreciate the little bit of flavor the piano adds, even if i wish it were a touch louder. Greg once again screaming his heart out in the second half of this song scares me a little bit but it really adds to the noodles of the song. it's not a particularly awe-inspiring song, but it's Cheekface's gesamtkunstwerk, magnum opus, and the best noodle on the album, hands down. 9.7 noodles out of 10. please help me stop thinking about noodles.

i was as surprised as the next guy to see that Cheekface had a Sidney Gish collab on this album, but it makes sense since they occupy similar verbose indie lyrics-first niches (i swear i mean that in a nice way). i'm not sure exactly what anyone's talking about here (aside from the line "I'm doing nothing like I'm verified" which is fantastic) but Greg's mention of Jerusalem seems like it has some super deep meaning that i'm not knowledgeable enough to understand and Sidney's reminding me of that fact. i'm being snarky cuz i'm tired, but i promise i like this song. Sidney's got a great voice and, though she doesn't have a lot of time in this 2-minute song, she does a lot with it, having most of her verse bleed into itself and letting it be more of a textural addition than lyrical.

"You Always Want to Bomb the Middle East" has so so many words in it but it's fine cuz they're very clever. the song's Genius description mentions that the day before the album was released, the USA had actually bombed the Middle East, which makes the lyrics a little darker but still funny. the little changes to the final pre-chorus and chorus also change the meaning of the song a lot too, which is cool. i'm running out of steam here. i am going to finish this review or die trying. there's definitely a genuine anti-war intention in this song, but Greg's distant demeanor and comedically timed metaphors still make it a fun song. Echo's drum solo and Greg's guitar solo are both structurally simple but (as far as i can tell) are more technically complicated than they seem. the idea of "Cinderella's Castle of Shame at Disneyland" is also super funny even though i can't particularly place why. i imagine a bunch of disgraced park goers sitting down with $15 hot dogs with little signs around their necks saying stuff like "kicked out 6/13 - knocked the goofy mascot over after four drinks." it's 12:35 AM.

it would seem that Greg believes "Friends" has the nastiest bass line on the album and the twitter poll results were skewed since nobody listened this far into the album. but i did. and i agree, Mandy is laying down some absolutely funky fresh bass and i'm hearing some sick lines in the chorus. from the title, i thought this song would have something to do with the TV show, but i don't think it does. it actually takes on nearly every issue that an active twitter musician in California may encounter: the medical industry, money problems, figuring out others' intentions, therapy, politics, staying friends out of obligation, police, and fan retention. this song is one of Cheekface's funkier noodles and i would like to see it live to dance to it. actually, i can't dance so i would like to, one way or another, move in rhythm to it. (edit 8/9/22: i forgot to mention that hearing Greg exclaim "Sheesh!" inflicts a certain unplacable malaise and distress upon my being that leads me to believe this utterance will deliver some type of psychic damage unto me until i develop a tolerance to it. i can diagnose that this is due entirely to secondhand, and in some cases thirdhand, tik tok exposure.)

finally, "Vegan Water" is a strange track that i love but my parents would definitely have to turn off halfway through. the little synth arpeggio that runs through the entire song gives it a particular ethereal vibe that makes it feel like i'm in a plane lifting off or like i'm on the I-95 between two radio stations or like i'm floating in a sink filled with vegan water. the song might read as a somewhat stripped-down classic-rock inspired noodle otherwise, but the arp keeps me from ever being able to "find a home in the groove" as a jazz musician would say. Mandy's bass also slaps here. though it's quiet, Echo is making full use of his cowbell, which solidifies the Teens of Denial comparison i was going to make earlier in this paragraph but chose to exclude. the lyrics here are as great as ever; Greg continues spouting one-liners until the bitter end, including "Tide Pods in my mouth and my mind," "Don't smash your fingers closing the window of opportunity," "You can't fire me because I am dead," and possibly the only lyric that has made me laugh out loud in recent memory, "Baby, you can knife my tires." i'm also glad Greg found an excuse to say anodyne in a song (and, looking back, that he managed to squeeze paean into TWO others). As he and Mandy trade off "I can do no wrong" into the sunset, one can't help but feel they're being sarcastic as something something internet something something kids these days. if it's a commentary on the disintegration of ethics attributable to the separation of self as a result of the forever encroaching reach of internet communication and its inherent distance between speaker and listeners, Greg did a great job. if it's a joke about "Karens" or whatever you call people who ask for the manager, he did great too. it's now 1:30 AM. i am not proofreading this. i forget how to read english. Cheekface is cool. peace out.

Shadynasty

July 21 2022

i finally have something to say! recently on twitter, famous emo chiptune girl jasmine (of exciting!!excellent!!) retweeted something mentioning Shadynasty. I had never heard of them, but the tweet mentioned that they "showed up, plugged a Gameboy Color into the PA, and fucking destroyed every room they were in." two things you might not know about me is that i love music that fucking destroys and i especialy love anything with chiptune. (side note: check out the replies to that tweet, there's some cool stuff in there too.) their Bandcamp link is dead, but a search brought up their album ✌Curtis✌ on Out of Breath Records' page. now, let me tell you: Shadynasty fucking rips. everything i love about lofi, punk, and chiptune music is distilled into this album. i wish i could say more on a technical, objective level but there's just a certain charm in a self-recorded album that i don't have the vocabulary to fully capture. i can't hear what Brian (''Lsdj, Famitracker, Guitar, Vocals'') is doing on guitar, but their tracker work is phenomenal and their voice, whenever we get to hear it, is the cherry on the top of Shadynasty's lofi sundae. Mike ("Drums, Sex Appeal") has energy and fills, and they're more than happy to show them off, especially on "My Ninja Clan." i'm not a bassist so I don't have the experience to hear what Jourdan ("Bass, Wiener") is doing most of the time, but when i can hear them, they're an excellent compliment to the sound. one of the highest compliments i have for this album is that i now have a headache from headbanging too hard for three listens straight.

once i listened through ✌Curtis✌, i checked out some of Out of Breath Records' other releases as well. i was glad to see that everything else has a similar garage band charm to it. one of my favorites is Lost in Tokyo's "That Was Then, This Is Dumb," a fantastic short album about weed and death. i'm no pitchfork employee so i'm honestly not sure what else i'm supposed to talk about, but i highly recommend this album too. and... that's all i had to say. thanks for reading if you did. i don't have a proper signoff so, uh... don't forget to like and subscribe.

first post ever

July 18 2022

hey, ...uh. ummmmm. i don't have anything to say here. i'll come back when i do.